Also known to respond when called :

Marinara Lara, Larry Beans, slob

Activities include:

spilling things on myself, yelling at people on House Hunters, practicing for my potential win on Drunk Top Chef, and not surprisingly- making a pretty damn good marinara sauce

Other mildly important facts:

Concerned parent of fish, Steven

Former parent of nugget dog, since demoted to “sibling”

Handwriting style: Sassy Tween Chic

Once shared an idea with Russell Simmons in a soho swimming pool,

he promptly removed himself from the situation.

Once shared an elevator with Gerard Butler,

he promptly removed himself from the situation.